Known, in this moment, the beauty and richness of life. What a blessed gift. Here, in this place . .. I rest and notice what I notice of the cycling thru of emotions, of the rising and falling of 'fear', of closing, of joy, the waves of joy .. . and the opening which has no opening. This extraordinary life. Knowing this, there is nothing else to know.
All the other psychological understandings, layers upon layers of cultural, famililial and societal conditionings are simply that, patterns . . . that have been drawn in the sand and which, in the winds of life, are shaped and reshaped. Some of the more impactful events, like rocks in this landscape, create deeper more lasting patterns, and yet sun and wind and rain and ice wear down and break apart even the most solid rock eventually crumbles and this shifting landscape of life is reformed and reformed over time thru time in time. The circling of the planets and the impact if the changing energetics and chemicals interactions of this life, create an element of this unfolding.
Identified thru conditioning and habit, with this material reality, longing and remembering and sensing the life that is not limited, is independent of this, yet, it is in and thru this body, planet, existence that I experience my life, my being here alive.
SO much has been written and said of the 'other' of 'how it is'. I continue on my quest through this life to make sense of it all, whilst all along here I am, with all of it . . this my life. deeper and deeper, more present more aware of the awareness and unawareness shifting and changing. AND, the SO wanting of 'peace at any cost'. of 'wanting to be loved' at any cost, wanting to be accepted at any cost. Yet, knowing and seeing this .. . . I again , maybe in a more subtle and tricky way, want to show, understand and demonstrate this *I am it, here, confident*. And yet, SO much of the time NOT that way, doubting my life, wanting to be THAT way and not have doubting. . . waiting until it is 'all sorted', that I am 'landed', and 'clear' enough, 'perfect' enough and .. . .'worthy' enough , 'enlightened' enough to lead and teach , to stand up and show. --- Yet, I do NOT want to be another voice of 'presumption' of 'blind leading blind'. of 'Guru ego'. I SO do not want to do that.
What if , as an experiment, (because its not 'for ever') what if I experimented, for the rest of this year, with allowing myself to NOT worry about that, and just went with what it is that I know, and what arises in me to say and do , as the 'truth'. Not worrying that I have to 'reframe' it and 'get it right' because ' there are many truths' etc etc etc .. . Simply speaking and doing what it is that arises for me as the truth. What if I experimented with that, for now, did that, for now.
Wanting to constantly 'wake up' 'be awake' . .. impossible? . .. maybe it is that I AM AWAKE .. . ALREADY !! nothing to do , or get, or learn or have to follow or learn .. . simply .. . right now .. . getting this. The rest, all the complex psychological processes and understandings WILL surface, will be there, ARE there already.
The shackles of 'life' fall away, breaking apart, opening. . . a veritable firework display of energetic destruction unbinding, breaking out, arising, DEEP breath. Fiery golden energy of life. Within and thru me.
I open to this experiment, to living this experiment and to all that can support me in this, to any one and any energy and any beings that can support me .. . so that I can live this, my life, to the fullest I can. ASKing for 'support' not from weakness or needing ANYTHING, simply asking, because someone, some places, some energies may have something that would contribute to this. NOTHING is needed, and ANYTHING can contribute.
All this, my best wish, is for the FULLEST potential of my life, in DEPTH of HEART , SPIRIT ,JOYOUS **CONNECTION* with and in and thru LIFE? For the BENEFIT OF ALL, and that INCLUDES me!
THIS, MY LIFE BEST and HIGHEST GOOD.- that is my wish and prayer.
So, for today, for now. I prepare the way, and gather things I need so I can enjoy this life , this day .. . I now, continue on. from and with and in this instant.
