amazed by this life!! music, coaching, creativity, lateral thinking, transformation; my passion and joy

Friday, January 12, 2007

I know once agian that I am free

Bathing in the crystal waters
of Divine beauty . here I rest
in Joy and Peace and

the calmness of Love

The turbulent storms of
waves tossed by the wind
and the Deep deep currents
of my not so consciously
Known life rest still, for
this moment .

I am beauty
I am that which never
ends - this is the truth,
this is the one constant
always there to be Known.
The rest, all the rest
simply comes & goes . in the
Living dance of this life .

All the troubles , all the Joys
moment by moment shift,
rise up & fall away. At
moments I seemingly am caught
and it appears as if there
is an impossibility of moving
forward in my life, it feels in
those instants as if there is
certain death of anialation
of extinction - non existence
Yet, it is a lie . The fear
is a lie and its grip can
come strongly , iron - cast iron
grip that stifles life

Yet , always there is another
dawning always, form this place
of imprisoning known , held &
fed over lifetimes. Always
the grace of Love comes
and somehow , in some miraculous
way it is dissolved & melted
this cage fashioned by
the mind and in the
dissolving I Know once again
that I am free And, bit
by bit glimpse by glimpse I
understand that always,
irrespective of what is
taking place in my life,
always I am free
this that is free is me
s i m p l y this. and Knowing
this & trusting this I
can Dive more deeply into
life . no matter how fierce
the storms challenges pain
Joys celebration's of this life
I know this freedom

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Music recording with Linux

As I've been getting ready to upgrade / rebuild, my PC for music recording, I've taken some time to day to a bit of web research, could this be a good time to move form windows to Linux. It 's a whole new world there and, at the moment, there's not a program that's quite ready to use. However it's been interesting touching into that world, with names for programs like 'Jack' and 'Ardour' which looks and feels lovely. AND I like the whole concept of open source software. Shame Ardour hasn't got the ability to record midi yet. So, rather than get distracted, I'm gonna leave it for now and probably do the upgrade of Sonar, as I've been using that for several years on Windows. ( I'd have to learn Linux as well as the new program so all in all to much time would be needed)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Previous postings to 'Loving Thoughts'

previous posts of a selection of writings from my morning pages, intuitive writings. can be seen at my old blog Loving Thoughts

soundcoaching - music lessons with a difference

I love doing individual sessions as a form of music enquiry. I have a passion and excitement for exploring ways to develop peoples music and creative skills and exploring with people how to learn how to learn. Time seems to stands still in the sessions and something magical takes place which I find inspiring and humbling; I am inspired at how these sessions are a gateway for personal and spiritual development.

Whilst a student at University in the 80's I started Hatha yoga, Meditation and took part in an intensive series of personal development workshops as well taking Pedagogy as a specialist area in my music degree. Whilst at university I took part in an Inner Game of Music workshop with Barry Green. After that I was away, and would work with any student on any instrument, even those I could not play. We discovered amazing results and it developed into a way of training peoples attention and awareness. Laterally this has been greatly enhanced by study of Psycosynthesis, NLP, Spiritual Healing and Symbolic Metaphor.

What is there for me to know?

It's the beginning of the year and I'm thinking of goals and etc; this came to me in my morning writing:

Follow initial intuition. If no .NO, if yes YES . . . radicalness. stay with the process of this, in your life. release the energy of the unmoving, stuck, blocked . . . saying no to that that does not bring joy. opening to & being in Joy with the life you have, with the people, things & family which you are guided to have & be with. ~ Let go of the rest and open into love, into the depths of heartful presence. The joy of it, the pain of it, the all of it.

Resting in love, resting in life, held by angels, by the divine ones - call their names call on them, communicate with this your life : all dimensions & all realities seeing this - life - in all your life. When the clamping of the mind & tightening of the body arise - be with it, welcome this, your house, your experience, your experiment in Life . and . always remember to return again & again to : life .

Trust life deeply enough that you enter in the experience of your life - Fully - . and that, in the seemingly tough decisions & places of this life that challenge to the very core your most cherished beliefs and assumptions about how the way it is.
Trust that Life holds you and you can know and follow guidance & the inner promptings. Trust that when you ask and wait & listen & look & feel you will Know what there is to Know & DO - knowing from the emptiness & 'unknown' waiting, to the full instant Knowing. And Doing from clear, action that flows now, or at a Known point in time, or 'not doing' which is a resting & waiting.

All this brings a joyful, heartful, heart opening blessed wonder.
I pray for support & wisdom to stay with, move thru or release any pain which arise to my consciousness, to my body felt experience. I pray for a rightness of that process.
Sitting on nothing . an impulse arises .

I remember ohhhh I remember ~ how long & how often must I sit in such a way?
until sitting & knowing & unknowing doing & not doing are all one.

Getting, some more, the lesson of doing this Carework

Mr P is pretty rough this morning, he could be on the way out. it's painful to hear .. feel and see. actually sadness is what I feel. I feel a puling into that .. and the possibility, momentary windows of letting that go, letting him go , letting the wish to hold and keep him. . .and the other Careworker. I feel my body resting backwards and downwards feel the tension in my jaw. THIS is the place to be in right now. this place of awareness, of noticing and releasing . . NOTHING ELSE matters. - other than the tasks I have. Then, from here in this place I can choose what to do, flow what arises in me. for now I face and get this sadness. and this holding of my breath. When I breathe i sense the release and relief, not from a wish to do or change anything, simply from getting that this is what I must do, this is what my heart calls me to do. this is the profound, profound lesson right now. I sense a great gratitude for Mr. P and for spirit guiding me to be here. To get this to get this acceptance of my life and of life.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

right here right now

As Mr P was having another possible heart attack I was meditating, some powerful realisings came to me;

It's beautiful this morning just before dawn fist light in the sky birds start to sing

peace descends light expands

focus of the one light Christ

every moment the drop of life fills

the rush of light life pauses completely still

08:05 Mr C whistled. pain in chest, called 999, paramedics here, gave aspirin and gtn spray under tongue. 08:45 called and spoke with son son in coming around at about 10:30.

so those are the details, one of the paramedics was here, said been here before, it's got ghosts doesn't it.

as they left, Mr C expressing SUCH gratitude,and thank you very much and happy new year. one of the paramedics said, "another life saved". .. something detached and, just below the surface, the gratitude they have too.