Someone killed my sister. Grateful for #restorativejustice Ohhh.... could there be an equivalent? '#suicide
some notes from this mornings journal 10 years on.
Looking forward to meeting my sisters killer and to reconciliation......
so... that means... meeting her,
and
she is not here to email, txt or call... to meet and start that process...
Showing posts with label 5 Rythms Dance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5 Rythms Dance. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Friday, March 18, 2011
how I started 5Rythms Dance
this blog by Adam Barley Chaos, earth and movement - with Adam Barley - reminds me of the first 5R class I did, Adam was teaching, in a forest, in a Festival near London. I'd been playing in a band with Susan Chewter ... our band departure delayed, his class starting, I was invited to play music.. I do a lot of playing for dance and love to too! but.. as I took a few steps up the hill to get my Viola. Each step, and my body, felt heavier and heavier .. next thing thing I knew was I'd turned around, walking away form my instrument and towards the dancing tent... and there I was taking my shoes off, then.. mud straw breath feet swirl sweat tears... not danced for YEARS ... finally my deep sadness of walking away form my Ballet training (and my love of dance) was ... healed WOW... and that was just the warm up. gratitude and love ~ Christoffer
Friday, September 15, 2006
Playing for 5 Rythms in Exeter with Fanny Behrens
On Wednesday night I played music for a movement class with Fanny Behrens. She holds an amazing space and I LOVE the ease and flow of working with her. She's a 5 Rhythms dance teacher, though her work is 'influenced by' rather than having a 5 Rhythms focus; It's a movement, meditation, enquiry ..She journey's in a way I like to with sound. . . Its such a journey to uncover, discover 'presence' ... alive .. space . . sitting in 'nothing', entering in many places … waiting … watching, sensing what is arising and for me discovering what new sound wants to emerge.
When I arrived to set up I was welcomed so warmly and had some magical helping. .. a free flowing .. ease .. In a couple of places in the evening I joined in moving in the space where no music was needed, also SUCH a deep connection for me through movement.
So AMAZING to see and feel through the evening the responses in others, in myself and how easily I can step into that opening doorway - - last night and this morning I felt such pain, from sensing that opening so deeply, I sensed the SO lack of that kind of connection and openness in my family and thru school years .. such wounding washed by such deep tears . . . left with such gratitude
I SO love being in a space and with people who really 'get' what I do, where I'm trusted to be and am free to be me. I feel really alive doing this kind of spontaneous playing of what is arising, shifting moving energies responding to what is arising enhancing and supporting that; it calls me present in a very powerful way ...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part of the journey of Wednesday night is at my Loving Thoughts blog http://degraal.blogspot.com/2006/09/celebrating-and-mourning.html
If you're curious about what Fanny does check her website www.being moved.com
Friday, April 21, 2006
Playing for Spring Dance Croatia April 2006
I was guest musician at this 5Rythms based Celebration, It felt like what we were doing was taking part in connecting and healing the land, the people, the planet; may the blessings from this continue and deepen.
It’s amazing this connection I’ve had for over 12years now with the dance, how it’s supported me, what I’ve learnt and what I’ve been able to contribute. Something really landed for me over these four days; nearly a year after Gabrielle told me to put what I was experiencing into playing my Viola, finally it feels I’ve started to do experience and value that; it moved me and others profoundly - I feel very grateful.
Now back amongst the English soft spring sun, veiled by light cloud of silver grey and primroses smiling, I reflect on the journey to and at the Spring Dance
I feel very grateful for having such deep connection with people and having so many people respond to and name 'the path with soul' that I am on with doing what I do with Music and, in this context, playing music and facilitating others to play for the dance.
During this time I was met and held and challenged powerfully by many people from that land - a very special rare and beautiful thing. Hearing again and again, as if for the first time, and new, how much people were touched by teh playing that I do, how I hold the space for others to play in such a way that they feel they can contribute ( several singing for the first time in years or in way they hadn't felt free to do before) Really getting responses of how fully they received the passion I have for what I do, and the depth that of what I do, not just for playing music but for A Path of Soul and as a healing and a blessing for the planet
I was met by many people, and particularly by some of the younger people in a way that was so profound, and innocent/natural, simple wisdom and response to life, living this life
Much magical work took place on many levels; healing, grieving and releasing, for me and for others. The pain in the land, the pain in the people .. still very raw. . . and, in that dancing and in the sounds that we made something shifted.
I also found myself more deeply, and got who I am reflected back to me strongly. Being with people and connecting in the dance, in the eating together and talking . also sitting on the old, old limestone amongst the trees and spring flowers cherry blossoms sprinkling the ground. it was all really important, and nourishing . .. that too was part of and had a healing.
Outside the dance floor, in the dance floor of life, before class in the morning at lunch time or late in the evening over a meal, I heard over and over form me and from others questions that really wanted answers and answers that really wanted questions . . some answers came and others .. . simply the question stayed and deepened.
One of the participants has asked me if I’ll go back and a workshop, Path with Soul, in a Castle in her town. It feels an honour to be asked to do some more sound and movement healing and enquiry; to go back and dive deeper into this experience that has opened so readily and magically in that wonderful country with such heartful people.
It’s amazing this connection I’ve had for over 12years now with the dance, how it’s supported me, what I’ve learnt and what I’ve been able to contribute. Something really landed for me over these four days; nearly a year after Gabrielle told me to put what I was experiencing into playing my Viola, finally it feels I’ve started to do experience and value that; it moved me and others profoundly - I feel very grateful.
Now back amongst the English soft spring sun, veiled by light cloud of silver grey and primroses smiling, I reflect on the journey to and at the Spring Dance
I feel very grateful for having such deep connection with people and having so many people respond to and name 'the path with soul' that I am on with doing what I do with Music and, in this context, playing music and facilitating others to play for the dance.
During this time I was met and held and challenged powerfully by many people from that land - a very special rare and beautiful thing. Hearing again and again, as if for the first time, and new, how much people were touched by teh playing that I do, how I hold the space for others to play in such a way that they feel they can contribute ( several singing for the first time in years or in way they hadn't felt free to do before) Really getting responses of how fully they received the passion I have for what I do, and the depth that of what I do, not just for playing music but for A Path of Soul and as a healing and a blessing for the planet
I was met by many people, and particularly by some of the younger people in a way that was so profound, and innocent/natural, simple wisdom and response to life, living this life
Much magical work took place on many levels; healing, grieving and releasing, for me and for others. The pain in the land, the pain in the people .. still very raw. . . and, in that dancing and in the sounds that we made something shifted.
I also found myself more deeply, and got who I am reflected back to me strongly. Being with people and connecting in the dance, in the eating together and talking . also sitting on the old, old limestone amongst the trees and spring flowers cherry blossoms sprinkling the ground. it was all really important, and nourishing . .. that too was part of and had a healing.
Outside the dance floor, in the dance floor of life, before class in the morning at lunch time or late in the evening over a meal, I heard over and over form me and from others questions that really wanted answers and answers that really wanted questions . . some answers came and others .. . simply the question stayed and deepened.
One of the participants has asked me if I’ll go back and a workshop, Path with Soul, in a Castle in her town. It feels an honour to be asked to do some more sound and movement healing and enquiry; to go back and dive deeper into this experience that has opened so readily and magically in that wonderful country with such heartful people.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Playing for 'stillness' in London for Sue Rickards 5 Rhythms class - 4 June 2005
*Such* an amazing group and space and the bubbly Saturday night chaos sexual energy in London and a big heart welcome from Sue.
. . . my own journeying .. through the evening, through the dance ... with 100 people in such a fabulous large space.
Arriving into and moving through the swelling and resting of stillness.... I walk into the centre of the room playing viola, ripples of notes caressing the spaces and weaving in and out of the many bodies, blessing, healing, loving . . . a single note 'drone' creating a bed of sound for my voice to float on, to rest into and fill the space - creating an invitation for voices to join . . .. a few soft sounds start almost imperceptibly drifting through; tenderly, gently, powerfully... the room filling with spirals of sound, interweaving and a blessing of gratitude, love and compassion.
How amazing to then sit in a circle, heart sharing with so many people having been washed by the dance and the sound .... Sometimes, I wish (my ego wishes) for comments and appreciations. That popped into my head for moment, then dissolved ... tonight it was not needed at all. Then Sue said:
"I'd like to thank Christoffer for playing. He does sound and movement work all over the world, and when I heard he was coming through London I grabbed him".
These words, and a short conversation after the class, have continued to echo through my head as a reminder of the importance of what I do, and love to do. I have such gratitude for Sue's seeing of me, and helping remind me who I am and what I am here to do and the fullness of that work.
It's been such a challenge these last 2 months and somehow in and within all the chaos, a new and more powerful transpiration is just starting to seep through to the surface again. AND ... once more I have the inklings of the calling to do more of my sound and movement work. I'm open to and am putting out the call again to do that work more.
If you are ever in London on a Tuesday or Saturday night go along to Sues' class in North London - it's great (get there on time though, because it's so popular she's going to have to limit numbers) www.acalltodance.com
. . . my own journeying .. through the evening, through the dance ... with 100 people in such a fabulous large space.
Arriving into and moving through the swelling and resting of stillness.... I walk into the centre of the room playing viola, ripples of notes caressing the spaces and weaving in and out of the many bodies, blessing, healing, loving . . . a single note 'drone' creating a bed of sound for my voice to float on, to rest into and fill the space - creating an invitation for voices to join . . .. a few soft sounds start almost imperceptibly drifting through; tenderly, gently, powerfully... the room filling with spirals of sound, interweaving and a blessing of gratitude, love and compassion.
How amazing to then sit in a circle, heart sharing with so many people having been washed by the dance and the sound .... Sometimes, I wish (my ego wishes) for comments and appreciations. That popped into my head for moment, then dissolved ... tonight it was not needed at all. Then Sue said:
"I'd like to thank Christoffer for playing. He does sound and movement work all over the world, and when I heard he was coming through London I grabbed him".
These words, and a short conversation after the class, have continued to echo through my head as a reminder of the importance of what I do, and love to do. I have such gratitude for Sue's seeing of me, and helping remind me who I am and what I am here to do and the fullness of that work.
It's been such a challenge these last 2 months and somehow in and within all the chaos, a new and more powerful transpiration is just starting to seep through to the surface again. AND ... once more I have the inklings of the calling to do more of my sound and movement work. I'm open to and am putting out the call again to do that work more.
If you are ever in London on a Tuesday or Saturday night go along to Sues' class in North London - it's great (get there on time though, because it's so popular she's going to have to limit numbers) www.acalltodance.com
Friday, May 27, 2005
the 5 Rhythms Dance supporting transformation of grief
Since my sister Rebecca decided two weeks ago she could no longer stay on this planet, and took her life. I have been thrown into experiencing and exploring grief and extraordinariness of a wild and profound unknown place. I'm SOOooo very grateful for the support of the dance, for the skilful aware and compassionate teachers you have trained and the amazing global dancing tribe there is now in the world; I feel the power passion and love of that.
There is SOOOooo much love in this world .. so much pain ... I'm SO grateful to be able to explore, what is, through the dance. . . with my body, with my voice .. beyond the words ... touching a place of complete knowing, dropping into the space between the frames of the film of what seems to be this life ... sensing other places, extraordinary beauty, extraordinary pain ... WHAT a MYSTERY.
3 days after Rebecca took her life I went to Jo Hardy's class class here in Totnes in Devon, - - the sound system 'packed up' in chaos .(!!) .. so we 'silently' . . . with just (!) our voices and breath and rhythm of the feet went thru the 'end' of chaos . .. my heart broke .. broke open ... I collapsed to the floor ... the power of life moving through me.. transforming me ... releasing the trauma of from the cells of my body ....from having seen my sister Rebecca still with the face of agony and with the rope around her neck. I was guided out of chaos ... softening, moving softening ... as I emerged there was someone to great me fully powerfully present .... eyes of love and compassion - since that moment the flashbacks are no longer there, and I no longer feel the rope around my neck. AM SO grateful for that journey and transformation.
On Tuesday night after the Cremation, my family gathered here in my Studio Barn, with Fanny Behrans to dance. It was JUST extraordinary. ..... my parents, in their 70's my two younger sisters, my brother in law and 2 nieces one just 9 years old ... and my ex wife(!) We danced, and danced and cried and shook and screamed and listened and witnessed ... SUCH a blessing.
On Wednesday after a ritual to plant a tree and scatter the ashes I danced with Susannah DK and our local tribe here on Wednesday in Devon, UK . . . held, held held and loved ( and feared!).... At the end of the evening I played my sisters bamboo flute ..(seems I now play flute as well as viola!) .. a beautiful playful energy, Rebecca's, came in to the space. .... we then sat in circle and I shook and shook .. silently .. then a wail came from me like I've never experienced ... w o w. . . .. what a blessing to move and be moved.
for 5R dance classes near you in the UK see http://www.5rhythmsuk.com/ for other places globally go to http://www.ravenrecording.com/
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