amazed by this life!! music, coaching, creativity, lateral thinking, transformation; my passion and joy

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Response to a Feldenkrais session

And so…..  a blessing for this day .. 


opening for this wider space and view a (forcing)? .  up . . . .  and a raft of connections. . . . . . creative place of all interconnecting.  


Yet with this comes the critical voice ‘lighten up’   and stopped breathing, and a flood of thoughts with, although ‘ true’ and ‘ clear’ comes with fear and holding breath . . . .

            stopping & dropping


There is a fear of ‘nothing will happen  this too, with this kind of stopping with this kind of thought, is a different kind of stopping; still ‘held’ a kind of forced ‘ doing stopping’ with no joy smile. Very different than the stillness that is simply there with the body, BONES, resting on the ground. From there it is     still          and possible to open the ‘File’ of one ‘ topic’.


The more I am able to be in this place and open like that the more effective and ‘safe’ I will be.


It has been painful to feel how that not being that way has impacted on me. A pattern of response to places and people, feelings, energetics and sounds..  So sensitive and aware and not having wanted to feel that discomfort, so response to try and keep that ‘out’, minimise the pain  . .   yet the locking has been excruciating  -  now I sense it.  And actually the very opposite gives a sense of safety and protection and allows the love to shine  . . . That presence and gift I am  . Simply by being me.  WOW.


I even hear the difference in the quality and transmission of my singing, in the tone of it and in the rhythm.  ~  How extraordinary!



So . . now  .  To unlock this more and deepen this ‘ practice’ of awareness and unfoldment.


In:        walking (shopping in the supermarket)

            impetus to action (even the thought before)

orientation and reorientation in space

(the edges of objects and proximity to them)

            relation to sounds

            interaction with people (in conversations and physical proximity)



And like ripples of a stone in water each of these things and each impact on and in me. And the pattern has been of a frozen splash. ( built up over time, sometimes dissolving that somewhat, but it still building up more and more over the years)   Now I start to realise feel and sense that freezing and the unfreezing and the pain of that. .  


somehow in some situations (like with this Feldenkrais session, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes with doing other things) it is starting to unfreeze and go back to the still smooth pool of water     the natural order of things      a potent alive resting  . .   mirror . . . .    which in this bright light of awareness shows even the impact of the slightest breeze and the changing light of awareness of day and night dark and light.  


A Blessing of Life