amazed by this life!! music, coaching, creativity, lateral thinking, transformation; my passion and joy

Sunday, March 06, 2011

focus, filters and intention

The last few days I've been enquiring into and wondering about what kind of way to be with what's arising in my life, when to act on what and in what way. The following is from my journal from this morning:

An hour of meditation. The emotional tone 'scream' that was there at and before I started, has changed.

Now I sense a mix of both…          eyes closing…   searching and…   shallow breath… shoulders closing in

release… 


Painful upper back, left shoulder.

Deep breath . out.
and now Stiller…
softening.. tight .. ' held' jaw.
tired eyes want to close ..
resting .. want to pee

~

This 'now' which I have been experiencing and writing about, is that 'personality' 'ego' or… 'being with' 'present' .. ' body felt sense'…

That (this) kind of ' attention' is what? … Is coming from what?

And again, I have this question comes of:
* what to do? (Including ' not doing' as a doing)
* how to be … present … to what … in what way.?
* Doing what ' practices', yoga, meditation, writing
that, in my body, mind, soul, spirit, energy system, create and contribute to a particular way of being,…

Too much 'thought' …
Just 'get on'
[hardness in the internal voice of those injunctions]

And – – yet, these practices and 'choices' to set the filter of awareness of the thoughts, intention [have an effect]:

* notice the elements of life alive as in a dream, they all have 'meaning'
* notice the 'life' and 'spirit' and ' aliveness' of the being 'essence', of ALL things, places, people, essence, elements

All life is spirit
All is alive with consciousness
All is dissolvable in an instant
All those love beyond form and matter, in essence
All is . . what it is .

Profound resting and gratitude … excitement of bubbling centre of chest, slight smile on mouth . Yes – – –