Getting, some more, the lesson of doing this Carework

Mr P is pretty rough this morning, he could be on the way out. it's painful to hear .. feel and see. actually sadness is what I feel. I feel a puling into that .. and the possibility, momentary windows of letting that go, letting him go , letting the wish to hold and keep him. . .and the other Careworker. I feel my body resting backwards and downwards feel the tension in my jaw. THIS is the place to be in right now. this place of awareness, of noticing and releasing . . NOTHING ELSE matters. - other than the tasks I have. Then, from here in this place I can choose what to do, flow what arises in me. for now I face and get this sadness. and this holding of my breath. When I breathe i sense the release and relief, not from a wish to do or change anything, simply from getting that this is what I must do, this is what my heart calls me to do. this is the profound, profound lesson right now. I sense a great gratitude for Mr. P and for spirit guiding me to be here. To get this to get this acceptance of my life and of life.