After sitting this morning:
a response to questions arising yesterday watching and looking at the seashore...
From this space, all is revealed
A deep resting spaciousness
And
Such sadness, on my face.
How can relate in a way that feels more fulfilling.?
What needs to happen or be true?
Where am I caught in a pattern, a long time pattern of wanting more?
Is that what is happening, what is under the surface of this,
And
What needs to happen,,,,, with what's occurring, arising?
And
This is it.
And I have choice, and I have competencies to learn, and I have a deeper presence space to be revealed, to walk in.
Can I welcome these shoes I walk in?
Can I perceive the patterns, of thought, being revealed, and say… thank you, welcome AND no thank you. Can I get over the so intense need for this preference In my life for peace, to not rock the boat, to make things alright, to hold the space.
And what of service, and deep compassionate action, and surrender….. to life as it is occurring, and arising.
Can I see the goal of this life, revealed ever so clearly over and over , this life, this place of enjoyable perfection revealed.
Choose life.
Choose what is happening.
Searching, searching, struggling… for some attainment … is…. Unproducitive
AND there is, in the field of this life, this country, this time, a deeper deepening field of fear and unkindness. That, to a certain extent IS happening, and what is also true, is that there is a deep deeper truth , …….. well not deeper just ALSO…
There is the awakeness of the heart. Bring it's life affirming presence to this moment of reality . remove, reveal, this moment. This blessed blessed moment of this ordinariness of life. Perfect as it is. Just as it is. Including the messiness, pain, fear, shutting, and unkindness, lack of heart and kove…… as I percive it, or as others tell me.
And life, reflects back, life happens. I create meaning. Some of that meaning is deep profound true. Some is empty of depth and meaning, or so I think. Can that ever be true…..
And here I am. This moment of life, this response, raw, revealed. Listening.
And so it is, I live my life…… simply doing, feeling, responding. Getting caught, being incompetent, and, being present, listening, taking action, holding.
And more than this, here
How is my heart?
Tender heart, fearful, scared, strong heart, compassionate heart.
And
I rest, here, now in this moment, with this fullness, and with this shifting attention. With this clarity and with places of struggle and pain.
Am I responsible, how much, when, where, to take into account what another wants?
Your loving heart will guide and know
In the meantime, live life, your life, more freely. In each moment.
Uncaring, discovering the fear of shoulds. And, deep compassionate awareness, always present, always arising, whatever the path that has been chosen, whatever the choices that have been taken.
This is your profound, precious, simple, boring, ecstatic life. Stepping and stumbling, enjoying and falling and flying, and spinning and turning, this is it, this is it.
Everything, all of it being revealed, in each moment, so precious, and, in the blink of an eye, all this, this my life, will be gone..
So, in the relief, and terror, of this knowing, live fully the life you are living already fully. This, this is it.
Go where the love is, go with the next step. Here is this, this moment, and constellation. For this, and in this, with great kindness and awareness, and in the this momentness of this your life wisdom reactiveness and aliveness, breathe your next breath. Take your next action. React, and … notice this.
There is nowhere to get
There are choices to make
The field of blessed awakness and presence holds all.
In the blindness, lack of vision, crunchyness, within this, and all the reactive patterning, coming from wisdom, and wounds… within all this, remember also, the heart and presence. Not as a thing to go to, but as a deep reality of life.
Dropping back, resting , into this moment, here. Hear the heart. Always hear the heart.and whatever sign js reveled, explodes, emerges,,,, whatever that is, in its becomingness, see this, you living this life here now in this body, and, across time, this moment in time, living this moment of existence, in the great vastness , expansiveness
