amazed by this life!! music, coaching, creativity, lateral thinking, transformation; my passion and joy

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

wizard doll and the torrent of tears

It's been full on today .. 'holding' both my parents ... driving them to Tones 40 miles form here at the Barn. Then being with each of them whilst the other had a bereavement counselling session

Had a lovely handmade 'wizard' doll sent to me form someone in the states ( u know how they do those so great over there) She lost her sister too. She's part of the 5Rhythms dancing egroup I set up 7 years ago ... ( never thought I 'd need or get such amazing support from it) receiving the present SUCH a beautiful doll, has unleashed a whole torrent of tears ... ... ouch the pain ... --- grateful for the tears.

I've got a whole bunch of AMAZING virtual holding and right now I could do with the physical kind ... ! . . . and . . .I have this 'Opening Ceremony' workshop day with sound and movement that I'm doing in a local school tomorrow near the Studio, so driving back 40 miles to Totnes - SO many of my friends are down there but it isn't really an option to do that now ... shit .. how come it's so far ....

*** Ok ...

so I've just arranged to get a cup of tea and a hug from a friend in Crediton 4 miles form my home .. -- whewwwww this asking for what I need stuff is a bit of a challenge ... at times .. . and overwhelming how heartful the response is . and . .. . .u know what ... it cant take away the pain ... it cant make it better ... Bec's dead . . . .SHIT ...

ok . .. thanks for 'listening'

xC