I'm feeling SO blessed by so much in my life, and am still in *such* amazement and gratitude for how people responded to my request to do some kind of blessing around the time of Bec's Cremation and ritual to scatter her ashes & plant a tree.
There has been SUCH an outpouring of love around the planet ... with SO many people opening their hearts to what is . .. the pain and grief and ALL the other powerful places of such loss that we experience in this being human - it's one of the gifts of the shock of Bec choosing to die in the way she did.
It has and continues to move me, and others I have shared this with, into places unknown, or that need revisiting ... The support and blessings I've received have been and are extraordinary.
I'm SO grateful to have been able to help this wave of love go around the planet. Over 100 people that I know emailed me form all over the world [I'd chosen people it felt important to let know, even a few I'd only met a couple of times] People wrote back form throughout the Uk, America, Australia, Bali, New Zealand, Belgium, France) all with some kind of heartful thing they did in response.
People shared SUCH a wide range of things they did (traditional and non traditional rituals and prayers: Kaddish, Mass, Native American, Aztec, intuitive guidance, Japanese Buddhist chanting, Tibetan Buddhist prayers and ritual) Everyone resonating with and responding form a different place of the grief process
One amazing thing is, because I got reflected back the WHOLE spectrum of response to Bec's death, I got a deeper understanding of what was and is taking place - People responded across the whole range, from complete acceptance & knowing, to anger & rage. It's helped and helps allow what is there in me (and in others as I've shared this with them) It continues to help it move through all the different places in this grieving and readjustment to life.
Another very powerful thing has been the HUGE number of people (about 20 or 30) who have shared their stories of - "Oh... my brother, partner, sister, best friend did the same thing" . . . it's really surprised me how many people.
- I may not write much more about this, for a while, as it feels like it's moving on (though I will be posting something about the Cremation and Ash scattering/Tree planting ceremony . . because it was *quite extraordinary*)
As I finish writing this I've just realised that it's now 5 weeks since Bec hung herself - still the flickers and shadows of the total grief places dance there ... and somehow, right now, I have bit more acceptance of allowing it all ... how it is.
